Master Chefs Cookoff in Stockholm

Gravadlax (also known as gravlax) is a traditional Swedish dish consisting of raw salmon that’s been covered in salt and spices before being buried in sand on the beach above the high-tide mark and left for several days to be fermented or cured.

I mention that because today1 in Stockholm, starts the IPCC process of producing their Summary for Policymakers (to be read by politicians and press), mimicing closely the preparation of gravadlax.

The science; as it is written in a 1000-page report prepared by Working Group 1 (WG1) dealing with the physical basis of climate change; is ceremoniously wrapped and buried at the opening; while the IPCC delegates continue frolic at taxpayer expense at the Monk’s Brewery that is the venue for the great cook-off. The resulting 30-page Summary for Policymakers (SPM) is to be served on the 27th of September.

Governments from many, many countries have sent delegates, loaded with recipes, salt and spices for the preparation of the SPM.

What will be happening in the kitchens is described by the German Spiegel magazine.

Arguments with Researchers: Politicians want to ban the Pause in Warming from Climate Report
Researchers and government delegates will be negotiating over the world climate report in the coming week. Spiegel has information that the German delegates want to exclude the pause in warming from the summary report but are running into opposition from scientists.

Secret sessions at the conference in Stockholm are to negotiate the creation of the 30-page Summary for Policymakers (SPM) from the 1000-page climate report. Delegates are being sent by governments in order to influence the messages contained in the SPM; Germany is sending representatives from its Environment and Science Ministry.

Notice that Spiegel magazine makes it quite clear that the SPM will be a result of politics; first a negotiation with the scientists as to the contents and secondly, the emissaries sent forth by many governments to ensure that “the right messages” will be communicated in the SPM.

Joanne Nova has links to other media reports of the preparations by governments at her blog.

On Friday, the fish will be left, forgotten in the sand on the beach as the great prophet Pachauri of the IPCC triumphantly announces to great adulation from the attending, grandly libated delegates that we have Global Warming In Our Time while brandishing the 30-page SPM. Government delegates will, wearing dark sunglasses to protect from the harsh autumn sun of Scandinavia, grab their glossy copy and return by first-class to their country of origin, using the hallowed micro-tome to justify their master’s political policies; because they’re on a mission to save the planet.

Of the WG1 scientists who contributed to the buried report, many will return to their supercomputers running their home-brewed SimEarth; perhaps feeling emptied and violated by the experience of having another report produced in their name; a report that sends predetermined, definitive political messages unrelated to the scientific report. They will hope that, perhaps next time, some of the fruit of their labours will filter into the summary.

Meanwhile, as governments work to save the planet, the poor are denied cheap, clean, abundant energy; without food because their land is being used for crops to be burnt to make rich people in other countries feel good about using “renewable energy”. They will freeze at night and choke in their huts on the fumes of dung from their cooking fire. The deserts will grow around them as the poor harvest anything that will burn to help them stay warm at night. The children will forage, fetch water from afar, or work their day in the meagre fields instead of spending time at school. They will sit in the dark at night, perhaps dreaming of finding a fish on a beach.

1I began typing this on the 23rd of September.

Update: 2013-09-26: Donna Laframboise explains
Why the IPCC Meeting Isn’t Being Televised

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