Carbontaxitis Epidemic to Keep Workers at Home

CSIRO’s intentional release of the cabontaxitis virus is sweeping the country with devastating, unintended consequences. After the long incubation period,  those infected are beginning to show serious, debilitating symptoms characterised by compulsive leafing through phone-book-sized legislation while uttering obscenities. Inattention makes conducting other activities hazardous, with potentially lethal consequences.

Although the last sufferers are expected to recover by the 23rd of September, an early resolution can be brought about by the sufferer drafting a submission to the Joint Select Committee so G.P.’s are urged to allow sufferers to be given sufficient time off work and other duties to ensure a rapid recovery.

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